conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
DEAR ABBY: My 40-year-old daughter is on weight-loss injections and a no-sugar diet. I offered to bake her a sugar-free cheesecake, and she agreed, but she asked me to make a "tester" cake three days before. I explained that the cake has a lengthy preparation process, involving a very slow bake in a water bath and 12 hours chill time. I suggested she wait, but she insisted, so I made it early. She cut a slice of it and exclaimed how great it tasted.

Three days later, I baked and decorated a carrot cake to use as her "official" birthday cake, since the sugar-free cake had been cut and wouldn't look nice in photos. (Carrot is her children's favorite.) I hosted everyone at an expensive restaurant, gave her French perfume and a weekend getaway.

When we returned from the dinner, my daughter angrily said, "Get in here so we can cut this stupid cake, which I can't eat!" I was shocked and confused. She said I shouldn't have made a cake of a flavor she dislikes, but I pointed out that she had the sugar-free cake, too. Apparently, she had expected me to bake a second sugar-free cheesecake. I chewed her out for being ungrateful. Was I wrong? -- UNAPPRECIATED IN CALIFORNIA


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Jun. 16th, 2025 01:12 am
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Annie: I'm 63 years old, and I live alone in a quiet little house with my dog, Rosie. I like to sit on the porch in the evenings and watch the sun go down, but lately the silence feels heavier than it used to.

My daughter, who is in her 30s, moved to Texas with her husband about a year ago -- and since then, she hasn't spoken to me. Not a text, not a call, not even a holiday card. I send messages, reach out on birthdays, even mailed her a little photo of Rosie wearing a birthday hat.

I know there's something from her childhood that she's struggling with. Something painful that she believes I didn't protect her from. And the truth is, maybe I didn't. Her father died 26 years ago, and we were both trying to survive the grief in our own ways. I was overwhelmed and didn't always see what was right in front of me. I've tried to say I'm sorry, in words and gestures, but she's built a wall I haven't been able to get through.

Some days, I want to get in the car and drive the 800 miles just to knock on her door and see her face. Other days, I wonder if I should just give up and let her have the distance she clearly wants.

How does a mother keep loving her child from afar when the door has been shut so firmly? Is there anything I can do to open it again -- or do I have to learn to live with the silence? -- Grieving But Still Reaching Out


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Posted by Mike Glyer

(1) CERTIFIED PRE-OWNED SECUNITS. Security has never been more affordable says Apple TV+. “Murderbot — Get Your Own SecUnit Today!” (2) GUARDIAN SFF REVIEWS. Guardian critic Lisa Tuttle’s new “The best recent science fiction, fantasy and horror – review roundup” … Continue reading

caught up

Jun. 15th, 2025 07:51 pm
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[personal profile] calimac
B. went to the local No Kings protest on Saturday. I support the cause, but I stayed home and took a nap. I feel I've already had my say on this subject.

Instead, I went up to the City that evening for the Bay Area Rainbow Symphony's Pride celebratory concert. The music sounded interesting. Conducted by Martha Stoddard, known locally for the Oakland Civic Orchestra, it featured a timpani concerto by the Colombian/US composer Juan Sebastian Cardona Ospina, and Sibelius's Third Symphony. Both of them came across as busy and bustling.

Today I happened to be sitting in the living room when B. turned the tv on to continue watching Andor (which I persist in thinking of as "and/or" because I've been trained in Boolean logic). Although it's set in the Star Wars universe, it didn't feel to me like Star Wars at all, because the dialogue isn't stiff and inane like in all the Star Wars movies I've seen. (I haven't seen Rogue One.) But I couldn't follow what was going on, so I let it be.

2025.06.15 Breaking News

Jun. 15th, 2025 09:59 pm
lsanderson: (Default)
[personal profile] lsanderson
Suspect in shootings of Minnesota lawmakers apprehended – reports
Vance Boelter accused of killing legislator Melissa Hortman and her husband, and wounding John Hoffman and his wife
Victoria Bekiempis
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jun/16/minnesota-shooting-suspect-arrest-reports

2025 Robert E. Howard Awards

Jun. 15th, 2025 10:13 pm
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Posted by Mike Glyer

The 2025 Robert E. Howard Awards were announced by the Robert E. Howard Foundation on June 14. SCHOLARSHIP AWARDS THE ATLANTEAN—OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT, BOOK Requirements: Nonfiction work (print or digital), minimum 50,000 words, substantively devoted to the life and/or work of Robert E. Howard, … Continue reading

第四年第一百五十七天

Jun. 15th, 2025 07:17 pm
nnozomi: (pic#16332211)
[personal profile] nnozomi posting in [community profile] guardian_learning
部首

几, table; 几, how many; 凡, ordinary; 凤, phoenix; 凭, basis
pinyin )
https://www.mdbg.net/chinese/dictionary?cdqrad=16

凶, terrible/violent; 凸, convex; 凹, concave; 出, to go out; 击, to strike
pinyin )
https://www.mdbg.net/chinese/dictionary?cdqrad=17
刀 parts 1-4
刀, knife; 分, to divide/a minute; 切, to cut; 刊, to publish; 刑, punishment; 划, to plan; 列, to arrange in line; 刘, surname Liu; 初, first; 删, to delete; 判, to judge; 别, different
pinyin )
https://www.mdbg.net/chinese/dictionary?cdqrad=18

语法
Chapter 25 quiz: More comparatives
Chapter 26 quiz: More measure words
Chapter 27 quiz: Reduplication
https://routledgetextbooks.com/textbooks/9781138651142/quizzes.php

词汇
提前, in advance; 提问, to question
题目, subject; 标题, title; 话题, topic; 试题, test question; 专题, special collection
体会,体验, experience; 体现, reflect; 集体, collective; 具体, specific; 媒体, media; 团体, group; 整体, whole
天空, sky; 整天, all day long
甜, sweet
调, 调整, adjust; 空调, air conditioning
pinyin )
https://mandarinbean.com/new-hsk-3-word-list/

玩玩
An article on the rediscovery of Lin Yutang’s MingKwai typewriter (明快打字机), which sounds amazing.

大家过得怎么样?我还好,吃着巧克力多一点。保重身体啊!

vital functions survived an event

Jun. 15th, 2025 11:59 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

... and has been doing very little of anything else. SHOCKINGLY.

Swamp Cooler Repairs

Jun. 15th, 2025 02:51 pm
kevin_standlee: (House)
[personal profile] kevin_standlee
As I mentioned a couple of days ago, the pump on the swamp cooler stopped pumping water into the pads that make it work. Due to our hard water, replacing the pump every year or three is something we've become accustomed to doing. Yesterday afternoon, Lisa undertook the repairs.

Pump Doesn't Pump )

Lisa opened up the swamp cooler and replaced the old pump with the new one. While the impeller now worked, no water went though the system. Further investigation led her to remove the top of the cooler so she could get at the screw that held a T-shaped distribution pipe. The pump sends the water up to the T-shaped pipe, which sends the water to the pads on the back and sides of the cooler. When she removed the pipe, she found that it was completely clogged. Fortunately, the build-up hadn't hardened, and she was able to get it out by forcing water the "wrong way," blowing air into the pipe, and poking at the clock with a probe.

There was also a lot of crud in the bottom of the cooler. Lisa and I carried the cooler outside and she washed all of the crud out. While we were doing this, we kept hearing a periodic thumping noise coming from the minivan, which was a few meters away. Investigating, we discovered that one of the power door lock switches was stuck in the "unlock" position, meaning that it would periodically try to unlock the doors. Poking at the switch got it unstuck, and I'm glad of that, because not only was it unlocking the doors, but it would have eventually run down the battery.

We carried the cooler back inside, Lisa reassembled everything, I brought in buckets of water to refill the tank, and she turned it on: Success! The cooler started pumping water as it should, and soon thereafter, we started getting cool air wafting through the living room.

I thanked Lisa for doing this. She's much more handy with these sorts of home repairs than I am. I can carry things, buy parts, and so forth, but knowing what to do is more up her alley.

E-cards

Jun. 15th, 2025 12:35 pm
ysobel: Pink bunny (bunny comics), holding a sign: "jesus save / cthulhu eats"; text: choose wisely (choose wisely!)
[personal profile] ysobel posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Dear Miss Manners: After several decades of typing on keyboards, I have lost my ability to write nicely by hand. My solution is to send electronic notes — for expressing appreciation, recognizing significant events, etc.

There are several lovely e-card forms available. Using them results in more timely responses, as well as significant savings over printed cards and postage.

I feel it would be nice if Miss Manners would acknowledge that electronic thank-yous are as valid as handwritten in today’s communication environment. Any thank-you is better than no thank-you at all.


Sorry, but you will have to snatch the fountain pen out of Miss Manners’ cold, lifeless hand before she agrees that electronic messages are as meaningful as handwritten ones.

She will concede, however, that any response is better than no response (has it really come to this?) as long as the sentiment itself is not computer-generated. “Thank you for the (insert present) that you gave me. It was very special and/or significant” is not fooling anyone.

As for your argument about saving money? Miss Manners highly doubts that the dozen or so letters you write annually is anywhere near the equivalent cost of the computer that you no doubt replace every few years.

[WaPo link]

strawberry follow-up

Jun. 15th, 2025 01:52 pm
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea, in a friend's kitchen (Default)
[personal profile] redbird
Adrian made strawberry pancakes, blueberry pancakes, and raspberry pancakes, partly because we have all these strawberries to use up, and partly so I could try cooked strawberries, after the fresh ones made my lips itch on Friday.

I ate a bite of a strawberry pancake, and found it bland and uninteresting. I didn't react to the berry, but it was one small piece of strawberry, and I don't know whether a larger amount would have been a problem.

I may yet try something like a strawberry sauce over cake or ice cream. Adrian noted that raw and cooked strawberries are almost different fruits, but it also seems possible that a strawberry sauce will taste more like raw berries than like strawberries baked into pancakes.

2025.06.15

Jun. 15th, 2025 09:43 am
lsanderson: (Default)
[personal profile] lsanderson
‘Her mirthful eyes, her sharp humor’: Colleagues remember Melissa Hortman, assassinated at age 55
Hortman reshaped education, environment and health care through years in Minnesota House leadership.
by Matthew Blake
https://www.minnpost.com/state-government/2025/06/her-mirthful-eyes-her-sharp-humor-colleagues-remember-melissa-hortman-assassinated-at-age-55/

Flood of tributes for Minnesota Democrat killed in ‘targeted violence’
Governor Tim Walz calls Melissa Hortman, state speaker shot dead along with husband Mark, ‘dearest of friends’
Edward Helmore in New York and Rachel Leingang in Minneapolis
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jun/14/minnesota-democrat-melissa-hortman-tribute

Manhunt continues for suspect in shootings of Minnesota lawmakers
Gunman believed to have left Minneapolis region after killing one legislator and wounding another
Victoria Bekiempis and agencies
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jun/15/minnesota-shooting-suspect-manhunt

Manhunt after two Minnesota state politicians targeted, one of them killed
Mike Wendling in Brooklyn Park and Danai Nesta Kupemba
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cgj83q2e562o

Millions across US turn out for ‘No Kings’ protests against Donald Trump
Protesters demonstrate at about 2,000 sites nationwide on day US president holds military parade in Washington
Rachel Leingang in Minneapolis, Andrew Gumbel in Los Angeles and Melissa Hellmann in Philadelphia
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jun/14/no-kings-protests-trump-military-parade

Trump, Netanyahu and Khamenei – three angry old men who could get us all killed
Simon Tisdall
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/jun/15/trump-netanyahu-khamenei-three-angry-old-men

A £2.5m dud? Fresh doubt cast on authenticity of National Gallery Rubens
Former curator’s comments, later withdrawn, reignite debate over attribution of Samson and Delilah painting
Dalya Alberge
https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2025/jun/15/claim-casts-doubt-on-origin-of-national-gallery-rubnes

It's Estimated Tax Day, well, almost. Due Tomorrow.

Last night the valet at Orchestra Hall could drive a stick and was excited at the chance. There went my private parking! They tried to pawn off a new car on me when I went to pick it up, but I resisted.
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Posted by Mike Glyer

The latest info on the CWA Awards of Excellence, the Shamus Awards, Sisters in Crime Australia’s Davitt Awards, and CWA Dagger Awards. THE CRIME WRITERS OF CANADA AWARDS OF EXCELLENCE The Crime Writers of Canada have announced the 2025 winners of their annual … Continue reading

2024 Bram Stoker Awards

Jun. 15th, 2025 02:39 am
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Posted by Mike Glyer

The Horror Writers Association (HWA) announced the winners of the 2024 Bram Stoker Awards during a ceremony at StokerCon on June 14. 2024 BRAM STOKER AWARDS® Superior Achievement in an Anthology Superior Achievement in a Fiction Collection Superior Achievement in a … Continue reading
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Posted by Mike Glyer

(1) STAR WARS FIRST CONTACT. Congratulations to Filer Cliff whose reminiscence made this Guardian collection of memories: “’It was simply mind-blowing’: readers remember seeing Star Wars for the first time”. Like many readers, Cliff Ramshaw’s anticipation for the film had … Continue reading

No Kings Day: Lisa's Surprise

Jun. 14th, 2025 10:25 pm
kevin_standlee: (Lisa)
[personal profile] kevin_standlee
Lisa surprised me this afternoon. She went to the No Kings Protest herself. She dislikes crowds, but she drove to Carson City in her small orange pickup and drove up and down Carson Street (the protest was on that street in front of the state legislative complex), taking lots of pictures, but not mingling in the throng of people who flocked to the state capitol today. I didn't see her, nor she me, but there were something like 5,000 people at the protest. She did her part, giving the thumbs up and getting as many pictures of clever signs (of which there were many) on her pass through downtown. She handed me the photos and I got them posted. I have a large Flickr album that includes both her photos and the ones that Kayla took. I'd say more, but I've been up since 4:30 AM and need to get some sleep.

Two letters to Eric

Jun. 14th, 2025 06:40 pm
conuly: (Default)
[personal profile] conuly posting in [community profile] agonyaunt
Link

1. Dear Eric: I have three adult children. About three years ago there was an issue, and my oldest, Doug, and middle, Linda, disrespected each other. It wasn't a small issue, but (in my and my wife's opinion) it wasn't a huge offense.

Neither will apologize. They refuse to speak to each other.

We have tried many ways to try and bridge the gap, to no success. I'm not asking for them to kiss and make up. I'm just saying, "Be cordial, be humane to other people in our house."

We host holiday meals, and birthday parties at our house, and this animosity really hurts and makes the dynamics difficult. Even seating at the table needs to be arranged.

Recently, I told my wife, "Only people that are willing to be humane and cordial will be invited to family meals." My wife doesn't want to do that, in part she fears losing access to grandchildren. I said, "Fine, for Easter meals they can be jerks but for Christmas they have to be cordial. I'll just go upstairs because it's too painful to be there. And you can't holler at me for being a jerk, because you don't holler at them for being jerks."

Am I asking too much?

– Stressed Father


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***********


2. Dear Eric: My fiancé and I had to move back into his parents due to the crippling economy. My problem lies with his father. He is fully disabled and stubborn. He has been getting up to use the bathroom, which would be OK if he could do it properly. He can't; he urinates all over the floor.

We have told him multiple times that, due to us having a child in the home, I always end up cleaning it, but I never get reimbursed. I'm seriously considering calling Adult Protective Services on grounds of self-neglect. He will not take showers as well and is a suicide risk. My issue is I want to call but I don't want to be a problem starter in a family that's already called Department of Children and Family Services on me out of pettiness. What would you do?

– In-Law Struggles


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