Clownagram!

If you know someone who is over 18 and lives within the city limits of San Francisco, you will soon be able to send them some seasonal feelings in the form of a clown:

Starting this Saturday, interested parties can order a “scary clown” to deliver a socially distanced, personalized message to the victim of their choice. A release for the service notes that said clowns “will arrive on-site to surprise the recipient with a song, some balloons, and a nightmare-inducing scream.”